2007
08.26

Dirty Laundry

Note from Lovell: As you don’t know, articles that make it onto Lovell Dies Crapsite are contributed by an arsenal of humans who choose not to think like the lay man.

This one is from Daniela. If you dunno her, no problem, you may rot in hell.


First and foremost. Do you have a washing machine???
If yes, you can laugh your ass off, coz I do envy you more than hotel heiresses. But if no then pay close attention.While the rest of the 20 something Mumbaikars & Goenkars living in Mumbai are dining, partying and indulging in pre-mating rituals & other stuff on friday nites, I have another agenda.

Monday to Friday, out of nowhere this humongous pile of apparel & linen seems to collect, filling the washing machine to the brim. So something must be done.

I must briefly describe the ‘Semi-Automatic’ washing machine.

1. There is no pipe inlet to let water in
2. It runs only once
3. There is a separate spinner in which excess water run be drained out
4. There is a detachable drain pipe with a hole so the entire floor ends up getting wet
5. It makes a lot of noise after the wash cycle is over like a broken alarm

Washing procedure

Step 1: Put 2 heavy buckets of water into the machine & let the items soak in soap & water for half an hour. It saves electricity.
Step 2: Change the water. That is empty the water & put 2 fresh [heavy] buckets of water.
Step 3: Start the machine. Runs for 15 minutes after which there is this prolonged alarm like noise which even a deaf person could hear.
Step 4: Rinse each & every item in a bucket to remove the soap completely. Towels weigh 5 kgs wen soaked believe me.
Step 5: Put rinsed wet items in to the spinner to remove excess water so it doesn’t drip on the floor like Mojo’s drool. [For the ignorant: Mojo is my pet dog.]
Step 6: Remove material from spinner & climb wobbly stool to hang them to dry. Its not my fault I’m short. Not fallen from stool yet but scraped myself plenty of times.
Step 7: Items take days to dry n then climb wobbly stool again & remove everything & just dump in the cupboard.

Well not so bad u may say……next time you are out on friday nite take a sec to think of me.

At least I’m loosing calories while you are loosing money!!!

7 comments so far

Add Your Comment
  1. Well, I am not so pleased to have just joined your club!!
    I hate washing my clothes!! At least you have a washing machine.. I have to do with a lousy bucket!! So stop complaining.

    But keep the Crap flowing!!..

  2. hahaha… i got a semi automatic tooo… though my feelings towads washing clothes remain the same!!!

  3. and i have to wash my clothes myself… scrub the grime off them.
    u r lucky to have a washin machine!

  4. Hey Buddy!! You have “Feelings” towards washing clothes?!?!

  5. At least I’m loosing calories while you are loosing money!!!

    ha ha…priceless….

  6. sumbody give Danu a new stool…..start a fund….any1 who reads dis pls contribute 10paise….sum day she’ll get a stool….

  7. but stool u mean shit?? everyone gets stools… if u thinkin of a stool to stand on, u can either sell ur bike seat or il lay a brick and ppl can stand on that!!

    btw.. to all ppl out there, im a proud owner of a fully auto washing machine now!!! :P

    there go all my troubles :D