- I find a government building to spit my Paan [red beetle nut sweet] on.
- My country goes into state mourning if the cricket team loses a match.
- I throw my garbage in the middle of the road [public places].
- I go pick someone else’s garbage, wash it, and reuse it.
- When I look at women I only think of sex.
- My browser’s homepage is a pornographic website.
- I reserve a bus/train [public transport] seat with my handkerchief.
- My accent changes the minute I get my visa.
- I wash cars in Canada, but I’m a software engineer to my Indian relatives.
- I’m obsessed with white skinned sexy women.
- I write/draw perverted content on public walls.
- I give money to beggars hoping that I get more [money] from God
- I go to the temple to find a new pair of shoes.
- I don’t get any of my work done without having to bribe someone.
- I condemn all the systems, even after having bribed half the people who get my things done.
- My driving license was gifted to me by my uncle’s friend for my twelfth birthday.
- My electric power supply is provided by my neighbors meter.
- I borrow my friend’s bike and make sure to empty the fuel tank before returning it.
- I believe in politics at work rather than hard work.
- My neighbor’s house is my garbage bin.
- I travel in public transport without a ticket.
- I do not vote.
- My God is Rajnikanth [film actor]
- My news channel show me breaking news the whole day [and night].
- I cross the roads along with cows.
- My wife buys gold on her evening walk.
- I go for morning walks to watch hot women jogging.
- My car driver is my newspaper.
- I eat with the same hand I cleaned my nose with.
- My Neighbours grandaunt is the voodoo doctor.
- Others think that I believe in 3,263 superstitions.
- I bathe in the worlds most dirtiest river the Ganga [with all due respect] to cleanse my soul.
- I try to cheat foreign tourists on the street.
- I enter the ladies compartment in the local train.
- I think that ladies seats are for all people in the buses.
- I enter crouded buses just to rub myself against hot women.
- Every 8th person is an MBA.
- I go abroad to study because I can’t get admissions in my own country. And I devote 80% of my time working part-time, just to pay back the massive student loan.
- I think of marrying and American woman to get my green card.
- I burn my own house to get the insurance money.
- Family planning is a sin to me, as children are God’s gift.
- I fall sick to watch a cricket game.
- I keep the box my mobile phone came in, even after selling my phone, just because I liked the packing. [Materialism]
- All half the people around me are Behanchoot’s.
- I get a national holiday for an India-Pakistan cricket match.
- I lose my virginity two days after marriage, after getting proper instructions from my friends.
- I go to my neighbors house to watch tv, just to keep my electricity bill low.
- I miscall my friends when I want to talk to them.
- I go on a honeymoon with my whole family.
- I drink cows urine and heal my wounds with it.
- talking about sex is taboo but the country has the largest population in the world.
- I skip red lights and make user to park in no parking zones.
- I am an Indian when i congratulate on someones birthday, and say same to you when someone wishes me birthday.
- I don’t know the meaning of one way.
- I push the door when its meant to pull.
- I go to shopping malls for window shopping and interviewing the salesman.
- Any space is a parking space for my vehicle.
- I hate other religion but people think i am a secular.
and feel free to add you own..