2008
03.26
Jeremy killed him. He knew it. It all happened to appear like an accident, but Jeremy knew that it was his fault. He was the cause. He had that guilty feeling. The feeling that he always got when he knew that he had done something really bad. The true test lay ahead. Jeremy knew he would be living a lie from now on.
The paramedics took Ralph’s body away. They knew he was dead. There was no hope. Ralph had no chance of being saved. The injuries were severe. His face was torn apart. His skull shattered to pieces. The news teams reach the accident scene and start reporting on how a young 15 year old boy lost his life in a tragic accident. They were not allowed to speak to Jeremy. He just sat there at the accident scene, more like a crime scene to him. He felt the pain of losing his best friend.
10 years pass by.
Sarah runs her hand through Jeremy’s hair. The two of them sit in the balcony watching the drizzle. Happily married for the past two years, the two of them knew each other as they knew themselves. Or that’s what Sarah might have thought. Her husband was the most loving man she had ever met. He treated her with so much respect, more than she could ever ask for.
Jeremy held Sarah’s hand and said, “I have something to tell you.”
Sarah did not know what to expect. She just smiled and replied, “Go on honey, you know you can tell me anything you want.”
“You remember Ralph, my childhood friend. It’s exactly 10 year since he died. Everyone knows that he died in an accident. But, what I know, no one else does.”
“What do you know?”
“But, before I tell you that, promise me that you will never judge me as a person.”
“You know I would never do that.”
“Then I shall let you know. I haven’t told anyone about this but I’m only letting you know, because I love you so much and I can’t live a lie and keep this secret from you.”
Jeremy tells her what exactly happened that evening. Every minute detail. He could remember it as though it happened a day back. The pain and guilt he had to live with from that day on, was all stored inside him. He was glad he had finally told someone. Someone he loved. Someone who he knew would understand him best.
2008
03.21
It’s Good Friday. Thank God it’s a holiday here [Hyderabad]. And thank God I’m not at home, else I wouldn’t have been able to sleep till 1.00 pm :) . I decide not to go to the local church, but instead I’ll go to St. Joseph’s Cathedral. Thats quite a far from where I stay [Tolichowki] but the church is amazing and I’ve not seen it till date. It’s like the Hydrabadi Se Cathedral [Goa]. Well, may be not quite. So anyway, I call up the church and find out that the service is at 6.00 pm. Thank God! That gives me enough time to clean up the house and organize all my books that have been lying around my room.
Hyderabad has been extremely hot off late. Everyone says it’s just the beginning. I thought this was as hot as it gets here. I’m in store for something worse I guess. But out of nowhere this huge grey cloud appear and the weather changes. Now it’s really cool and the breeze is just amazing! I sit in the balcony and decide to work on a small project that I though of. It’s nothing fancy, but I can’t discuss work related stuff here :) .
It does not seem like it will rain cat and dogs, but the slight drizzle is amazing. The kids from the neighboring building [which is a handshaking distance away] are on the roof enjoying the light rain. They all stop to watch me as I type all this. Dunno what they are discussing, but I guess the jokes on me!
The cloud is starting to move on. I can see the sunlight at a distance. It’s time to call it a wrap. Back to cleaning the room and settling the books now.
2008
03.11
My suicidal letter to my sis would sound somewhat like this:
“Yo.. Me goin to bengaLOOru for the Megadeth/Machinehead concert. Will be there from 13-15th of this month..
Don’t tel the folks, they’l get hyper 4 no reason..
Incase i die enroute or get killed in a moshpit den let the folks kno i died a martyr.
Ur nominee of all my bank accounts so ul be rich. N my company will give you a nice price for my dead body, so collect that and go for world tour..
Ah, and last bury me in the old hall n play EMPTY WORDS by DEATH for my funeral..
And tell my female fan following not to resort to suicide incase i die..
Amen.
And incase i dnt die, i’l bring u back a smelly metal tshirt.”
Added by the Poop:
I love you too peeku, love, MM, baby brother!
and happy headbanging _\m/ metal rules