2009
08.08

So, lately my lack of imagination has let me do real boring things. Like reading my sister’s blog. And. then I realized that I’m also going through this phase of self obsession, which leads me to scrape one article off my sister’s blog so that all you people can acknowledge and appreciate. And yes, I do have a bigger fan following than my sister. And, I’m smart! (What? Self obsession again? Then I am smart indeed.)

Jolene, Mama and Me

And that’s us, back in the day. Good ‘ol nice kids and Mama’s boy. Anyway, getting back to the topic of discussion here, that would be ME.. Here goes. This was published on March 22, 2007. The content also contains the comments picked from her blog.


And the BEST BROTHER AWARD goes to…

First you people gotta meet my brother.

This is what he has to say about himself:
I have two imaginary daughters aged 3 and 4… Both are good looking… I don’t have sons as I’ve decided the ugly male species of my family has to be done away with in this generation!!!

We shall also consider that I own a Magnum Sniper Rifle and I use it on all the people I hate… in other words I’m running out of bullets.

Also, though it may sound hypothetical, the sign on the main gate of our house reads: “BEWARE OF CAT!!!”

See I know he begged & begged till I wrote a testimonial for him but for those who never read the sincere words I typed down, I took the time to log into orkut and copy paste the heart-wrenching words I was rather forced to write.

I don’t know how many of u all know him as well as me but…
When I tell u this BELIEVE me…

This man can go without a bath for days!
(the record – 7 days… the reason – saving water!!!)

He can relish Snort!
(I know it’s a delicacy et al, but eeks I think he doesn’t get food to eat!)

Loves to not to do things as they r… which is good! Rite?

A big fan of rock metal music… cos of him I 2 started liking this noise he calls music!!

It’s taken him 2-3 years n more to learn the guitar…
n believe me till today he doesn’t string a full song!

He loves Tommy Leanne D’souza (who u ask?)
well that’s d family feline! (Though he doesn’t show it … I tell u he absolutely adores her!)

Anyway tats enuf for now!
But on the whole this specimen of the human race is totally harmless & genuine to the core… what u c – is what u get!

So you see why the BEST BROTHER AWARD has to go to Lovell! Aka. Peekacho… MM… Baby Lov… Baby… wotever I feel right to call him. No arguments here! He is my brother!

Ok the rest of you normal people may be wondering… Couldn’t she write something nice about her brother? Well people this is nice. I could perhaps jot down all the clichéd stuff of how my nice a brother he is… loving, caring, woteva!
But that’s not how it is with us!
As much as I love my brother, we cut the senti stuff… its like you guard my back & I will yours.

Enough has been said already. So one last thing, as the recipient of the BEST BROTHER AWARD here’s a bonus title too… THE BEST CRITIC!

The only reason I got to where I am is because of Lov and his mean remarks on my art or anything I do! (for which I am so grateful)

Ok brother enough said about you. (you asked for this too ;)
Now expecting an acceptance or gratitude speech from you in return.

P.S. for all of you who din’t know he is the ONLY brother I have.


And now for the comments.

Lovelldies… said…
well.. [ahem]… [sniffle, sniffle]…

well… duh.. ok id like to thank the producer and the director who helped me use my rifle on them.. and the cameraman and all the jehadis who go attack America on my behalf and show Bush who his daddy.. and also Allah and all the ladies with whom i play so hard to get that i don’t get any..

and also id like to thank the bread man who gives nice ring tones which i neva use..

[checking watch to make sure it crosses 43 seconds]

my gratitude also to u lousy bloggers.. lay people as i wud call you guys.. lousy mortal who cant make ur own sites.. morons!!

also i wud like to thank the so called “dudes”..who i choose not to be like.. ul are so lame man!!

i wud immensely lik to show gratitude to the metal heads and the guys who grow beards.. u know who u are!!

thanks to the metrosexuals. u guys help products like Anne French sell.. and really man, ul gross me out.. sorry for referring to u guys as men..

then id like to thank the people at HDFC bank who keep robbing me and making me feel that spending money on a magnum is a real good thing..

i also like to thank Mr Srijay Kamat, the Aryan, the pure blooded gamer, the bingta, who actually games under the name of Peekachoo.. we shall settle the name issue in some village court.. yes, infact id like to thank him for introducing me to Counterstrike source..

then id like to thank my lawyers n the fisherman who comes every morning lets himself get cheated by my mom so i can eat fish for lunch..

also id like to thank all my cousins for being such morons with such low IQ.. u know im right.. even if u think im wrong it jst that your IQ is so low that u cant figure out what im actually saying…

id like to thanks the old ladies and the hags who gossip and freak out when they see guys with long hair and beards..

i like to thank george bush for being such a lame ass and not attacking India.. at least we wud get to use our imaginay nuclear weapons..

then id like to thank the guys who made the activa – the beast of the road..

special thanks goes out to all those ppl who sell so called firewalls.. the ultimate protection.. yeah rite!!! duh!!

oh yes, and id like to thank tommy. our female pussy cat with ego problems!!

id like to thank all those guys who put “no fear” on their bikes and act cool.. they are too afraid that theyl get “eve” teased in the bus..

id also like to thank BSNL for unlimited downloads!!!!!

special thanks to all the people who are racist.. and the other half who cry over ppl being racist..

and not forgetting Israel and palestine.. for being each other.

and of cos how can i forget the CIA and the FBI whose full form means ‘Morons’.. u people really have patience.. and try to make the public appear foolish..

not forgetting all my relative who make our family one big freak show!!

and also jolene, jst for her not to feel left out…

I shall keep this award on my shelf along with the other 1534223423e34 Best Brother awards.. and if iv missed out anyone, id like to thank u2!!!

u know how much this award means to me!! [sob, sob.. sniffle….]

im gonna go show it to my mommy n daddy and put on newspaper also.. the sunday kids section..

hoping to win this prestigious award the next year also.. u know how much effort me n my team have put into it!!

this mean sooo much to me!!!

Thank u thank u!!!

Theres no cash pize?? Like wot kinda award is this if thers no cash prize?!?!?!!

well wisher can foward “funds” to my HDFC back account no: 2021000039040.. please keep it like Rs. 10000 and above..

over n out!!!

Lovelldies… said…
Oh i forgot bout the best critic award!!!

i know u guys dnt want me to start again.. :P

id jst like to show my gratitude by saying “JACKASS!!!”

The King said…
516 words from the heart Vs 684 from the gutt…kewl

(And they say I talk too much)

you two sure compliment each other :-)

Kudos! to your parents and Tommy Leanne D’souza for a lot of patience

Reading you speak about your Bro and then reading his comments sure makes me think back at what Steve Jobs once said;
“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.”


Well, and that my friends is how you get the Best Brother Award!!
PS: The King, he went on to become my brother inlaw.

4 comments so far

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  1. Ha ha, MAD

  2. wot u have no work?

  3. there goes your visa to the motherland. ;)

  4. U mean Spain?!?