2010
02.02

I had decided not to abuse. But then there are those moments in life that make you do. I had my moment a few minutes  back. This is the story.

The great company I work for is kind enough to provide us with cabs to and from work. This is like great, coz you don’t wanna die on the road in Hyderabad. You can also look out of the window, appreciate all the shit going on there and relax inside, chilling. There is nothing wrong with cabs as you might know. But at times there are people in your cab who are completely fucked up and they fuck the shit out of you fucking sane mind. I mean that. I fucking mean that shit when I say that.

So, I’m sitting in my cab on the way home with these other two guys. I’m on the back seat. Next to me, seated behind the driver, is this other dude who is in his own world staring out of the window, doing his own thing. On the seat in front of me is, lets call him, Mr. X.

Some context about Mr. X now. Mr. X is a fucking dumb-ass. This is how he introduces himself if you meet him: “Hi, I’m Mr. X. I’m an engineering manager”.
Well fuck you!

So the cab passes through the fucked up streets of Hyderabad and then suddenly Mr. X asks the cab driver to take the next right turn. Now that’s a “Wow great” moment for me, as my house is also that way.

I lean forward and ask Mr. X, “So where exactly are you getting off?”
Mr. X: At my home.
Me (in my head): Arrrgghh, right! I should’ve guessed. FuckKK!!!

Yes! Fuck with two trailing capital K’s. That bad a fuck answer it was. FucKK!!!

I regain my composure and ask him, “And, where exactly is that?”
Mr. X: My home.
Me (in my head again): Ahh, fuck yes! Fuck, I’m so fucking dumb!! I’m such a dumb fuck I couldn’t figure the our right. Like where in the whole wide fucking world would you be going now right! FuckKK!!!

As my brain cells resurrect, I realize we are at the road to my place. We have to turn left and go around 100 meters in to reach my house. I ask the driver to stop the cab.

Mr. X: It’s okay we can go to your place, we are not in a hurry.
Me (my head, yes): Ah, suddenly saw the Jesus in you right?! Motherfucker. Die!!!
Me (in reality): No, no. It’s a short walk in. I’m safer walking.

FUCK!!!

I know. I’m not supposed to being abusing. But seriously. What the fuck! Freaking engineering manager in the middle of the night, going home. Damn, why the hell didn’t I listen to my father and join an engineering college! Why, God why?!?!

Pop: Son, I know you are dumb. But I am rich. I shall get you a paid seat. But go to engineering college. Let the money do the talking, you just make sure you pass in your examinations.
Me: Eh, no. I don’t wanna study with boys who tuck their shirts and have soda bottle spectacles. I wanna study with the girls. I’m going to regular college. Yay! And, I’m gonna be a stud!

If only my father had been more elaborate.

Pop: Son, I know you are dumb. But I am rich. I shall get you a paid seat. But go to engineering college. Because, when you grow up, one fine night, you will meet an engineering manager who will fuck your mind so bad that you will not know how to respond and you will have to fucking walk home.
Me: Where do I sign?

So here I am, writing about this shit. I hope that engineering manager’s mommy has kept his fucking milk warm for him. Else, she is so gonna get fucked up when he reaches home!

Fuck you engineering manager. SMC!!!

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  1. Spam – The F* word appeared 25 tii ods..
    Ywaaannn…
    Good night