Aug 17

So I’m back home, in good ‘ol Goa. Sitting at the same table my Sis and I grew up eating at. The same table at which I studied for myriad exams that I flunked :P

Old Hall

The old table. The old hall. The massive windows. The damp roof tiles. The generations of relatives sealed in frames, hanging from the walls looking down upon me and thinking “Shame on him. Didn’t make the family name proud.” Hey wait a min, I did. May be they took that back.

Tommy

Meet Tommy [the female family feline]. Some say she’s 25+ years old. I’ll keep her at 23, coz from photographic evidence she existed when my sis was a kid, before I was born. I stick my foot out for the usual feline meets master greeting. She rubs her head against my foot. I’m still king of the pride. Tommy acknowledges that. Until my sis drops by and steals me off my throne. How can that kitty leave me and run to my sis!!! Duh!! Whatever pussy cat. Big deal!!

Metal T-shirts

The black t-shirts have turned into makeshift doormats. I’m wondering how could my mom degrade the metal collection!! Aahh.. but I guess thats ok. Even the great Slayer t-shirt was not spared. That one has been torn into bits. The Nirvana collection has survived the onslaught. They lie folded in the cupboard.

The metal cassette collection has survived. The pirated CD’s survived too. The rains kick in. I listen to Alice In Chains for a change. Grunge kicks in. Finding a signal for Airtel in the house is a challenge in itself. The signal boosting ironing board does not help anymore. Last resort is defined by leaving the phone at the window risking it getting robbed.

I walk out. I see fields. I smell fresh air. I see birds. Coconut trees transform the simple village road into an aisle. Feels like a red carpet has been laid out for me. Well all over the place tell me I never have to worry bout taps running dry. Home it is. It’s not necessarily the beaches that everyone thinks about when you mention Goa.

Baga Creek

I head out to the Baga creek. I spot the Cross where Ryan [Babushin] and I used to hang out discussing crap. I recognize the spot where Donn, Russell [Yoyo] and I used to come fishing and manage only to catch crabs. The total number of crabs caught till date tallies to 1. I pass by the ground where our U-19 team used to train. The same ground where I learned to dive and catch a football in mid air. The same ground where I once left a lousy goal and our team lost.

Lan Lords

I meet my good old friend Srijay aka Byclops aka Peekachooooo. We head of to Lan Lords. We thought the place was shut down. We find it open. Once owned by the fearsome Homo Sapien Maleous clan, now left to rot with some school boys. The gaming place is dying a slow death. Never-the-less we frag against some bots. Get ripped initially. We rip them back after a while. Srij still got the superfast killer reflexes. I still kick bot with moi mag. The clan needs a reunion.

Srijay at Vrundavan Restaurant

Srij and I drop by Vrundavan. The evening restaurant where a lot of things were always discussed. Most visited by Lesley and me. Often accompanied by Evelyn, Srijay, Suneet and Prashanti. We attack the regular. Chillies, bhel, shev puri, tea and coffee are consumed. We call Les just to let him know we are re-living the moment and he is missing out on a lot of stuff, only to get a barrage of abuses in return. Good ‘ol days. Les, the abuser. Abuses everyone and everything.

Parra

We head back home. I’m home…

May 27

I’ll tell Mama!!!

- Jolene [Whenever I do some crap]

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FAATTLLIIAAANNN!!!

- Joaquim aka Maddogg.. [During Counter Strike night sessions, when taking a guy down from behind]
- Fatlian = Behind [In Konkani]

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Paul, you should run to the front of the aircraft, bang on the cockpit door and scream “ALLAH HOO AKBAR”!!

- Jayasree to Paul [On the aircraft from Hyderabad to Chennai]

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If we both direct our susu onto the same spot on this wall, maybe we could make a hole in it!

- Me, to Srijay [On a late night gaming session when we decided to pee on a wall instead of using the toilet]

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Aaj mera Bad Luck hi kharab hai!

- Random Guy on Bombay road.

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Tejal: I’m hungry.
Lovell: I’m Lovell.

- Me [Everytime Tejal says she’s hungry]

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Bring your own towel, your own bedsheet and your own underwear.. I won’t allow you to wear mine!

- Lesley [On me going to Bengaluru for the Megadeth/Machinehead concert]

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Chooiiiieee!! [Can be used multiple times, mostly used by me]

- Once used by players of our PVC team.
- If used by goalkeeper it means: Fall back there is a free foward lurking around
- If used by foward: Pass the ball, I’m free
- If used by midfielder: Be alert goddammitt!!!

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When I don’t call home for quite a while.
Mama: You’re not even calling to inquire how we are, what if we were dead?
Me: If you’ll died I’d get the news anyway! :P

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Me: Gimme a kiss.
Luanne: No!
Me: Gimme two kisses.
Luanne: NOOOO!!!
Me: Ok, either gimme two kisses on the left cheek or one kiss on the right cheek.
Luanne (after little thinking): I’ll give you one kiss.
(I get my kiss.)
Me: Haha, I fooled you!
Luanne: Mamaaaaa…!!!!!

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Kya bhanawat hai!!!

- John in the US, when some super hot woman passed our path.

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Apr 10

(This is a true story that happened on 5th Dec 2003 between 8pm and 4am. This is real old shit hand picked from the archives…)

December 5th 2003, a quiet evening, stars in the sky, Christmas carols echoing throughout the neighborhood. Not always does the day come when metal fans get what they want, when dopers get what they need, when starved unnourished souls get vitamins and syrups, and when people get sacrificed. A weird atmosphere engulfed the surroundings of BTF - 6, Chandranath Apartments, Mapusa.

Not many people were there. Just a few, a few who mattered were present. Just around six people excluding the host. Three rockers and three dopers, of which all were hungry - some for food, others for blood. There was no special Birthday Cake, the only thing that did get cut was the birthday boy, and man he did bleed hard. Blood splattered all around the house, the victim quietly bearing the immense pain. A timely introduction of a waterproof band aid was the savior of the moment.

Initially Sepultura set the ambiance with ‘Roots’. Old friends did some catch up. The script of a movie was reviewed. Then came the dose of Pantera. Rockers head banged and tried to break necks. Though no necks broke, the attempt was worth it. The not so divine intervention of food saved the rockers. Seven people consumed a meal cooked for twenty. With all due respect to the mom who made it possible (Daniel’s mom of course). Those poor chickens who sacrificed their lives for the auspicious day should be now somewhere near the pearly gates of heaven along with the other billions and St. Peter.

Dessert was gobbled down in a matter of seconds. Seven spoons in one single gigantic bowl. The Alphonso mango ice-cream was consumed like a carcass feasted upon by hungry vultures. Then came the period in which all the minds were cooled off and some freaks started to make music videos. A web-cam, a Pentium III, some 256MB RAM made possible some really weird and rather depressing but energetic music videos. Sorry to say that only a limited few will have access to these videos.

What happened next was out of the blues. Four people left. They had had enough. But they went smiling. Left back were three old pals. A rocker, a freak and another rocker. They discussed topics which are too sensitive to be written and tortured and murdered a few mosquitoes. Before long the freak left and one rocker washed dishes, while the other just listen to his shit and offered some shit of his own. The washing of the dishes got over, but the talking went on till around 3:45 am and by 4 am, the two rockers lay dead.