Lovell Dies Crapsite

I’ll tell Mama!!!

- Jolene [Whenever I do some crap]

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FAATTLLIIAAANNN!!!

- Joaquim aka Maddogg.. [During Counter Strike night sessions, when taking a guy down from behind]
- Fatlian = Behind [In Konkani]

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Paul, you should run to the front of the aircraft, bang on the cockpit door and scream “ALLAH HOO AKBAR”!!

- Jayasree to Paul [On the aircraft from Hyderabad to Chennai]

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If we both direct our susu onto the same spot on this wall, maybe we could make a hole in it!

- Me, to Srijay [On a late night gaming session when we decided to pee on a wall instead of using the toilet]

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Aaj mera Bad Luck hi kharab hai!

- Random Guy on Bombay road.

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Tejal: I’m hungry.
Lovell: I’m Lovell.

- Me [Everytime Tejal says she’s hungry]

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Bring your own towel, your own bedsheet and your own underwear.. I won’t allow you to wear mine!

- Lesley [On me going to Bengaluru for the Megadeth/Machinehead concert]

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Chooiiiieee!! [Can be used multiple times, mostly used by me]

- Once used by players of our PVC team.
- If used by goalkeeper it means: Fall back there is a free foward lurking around
- If used by foward: Pass the ball, I’m free
- If used by midfielder: Be alert goddammitt!!!

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When I don’t call home for quite a while.
Mama: You’re not even calling to inquire how we are, what if we were dead?
Me: If you’ll died I’d get the news anyway!

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Me: Gimme a kiss.
Luanne: No!
Me: Gimme two kisses.
Luanne: NOOOO!!!
Me: Ok, either gimme two kisses on the left cheek or one kiss on the right cheek.
Luanne (after little thinking): I’ll give you one kiss.
(I get my kiss.)
Me: Haha, I fooled you!
Luanne: Mamaaaaa…!!!!!

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Kya bhanawat hai!!!

- John in the US, when some super hot woman passed our path.

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(This is a true story that happened on 5th Dec 2003 between 8pm and 4am. This is real old shit hand picked from the archives…)

December 5th 2003, a quiet evening, stars in the sky, Christmas carols echoing throughout the neighborhood. Not always does the day come when metal fans get what they want, when dopers get what they need, when starved unnourished souls get vitamins and syrups, and when people get sacrificed. A weird atmosphere engulfed the surroundings of BTF - 6, Chandranath Apartments, Mapusa.

Not many people were there. Just a few, a few who mattered were present. Just around six people excluding the host. Three rockers and three dopers, of which all were hungry - some for food, others for blood. There was no special Birthday Cake, the only thing that did get cut was the birthday boy, and man he did bleed hard. Blood splattered all around the house, the victim quietly bearing the immense pain. A timely introduction of a waterproof band aid was the savior of the moment.

Initially Sepultura set the ambiance with ‘Roots’. Old friends did some catch up. The script of a movie was reviewed. Then came the dose of Pantera. Rockers head banged and tried to break necks. Though no necks broke, the attempt was worth it. The not so divine intervention of food saved the rockers. Seven people consumed a meal cooked for twenty. With all due respect to the mom who made it possible (Daniel’s mom of course). Those poor chickens who sacrificed their lives for the auspicious day should be now somewhere near the pearly gates of heaven along with the other billions and St. Peter.

Dessert was gobbled down in a matter of seconds. Seven spoons in one single gigantic bowl. The Alphonso mango ice-cream was consumed like a carcass feasted upon by hungry vultures. Then came the period in which all the minds were cooled off and some freaks started to make music videos. A web-cam, a Pentium III, some 256MB RAM made possible some really weird and rather depressing but energetic music videos. Sorry to say that only a limited few will have access to these videos.

What happened next was out of the blues. Four people left. They had had enough. But they went smiling. Left back were three old pals. A rocker, a freak and another rocker. They discussed topics which are too sensitive to be written and tortured and murdered a few mosquitoes. Before long the freak left and one rocker washed dishes, while the other just listen to his shit and offered some shit of his own. The washing of the dishes got over, but the talking went on till around 3:45 am and by 4 am, the two rockers lay dead.

Jeremy killed him. He knew it. It all happened to appear like an accident, but Jeremy knew that it was his fault. He was the cause. He had that guilty feeling. The feeling that he always got when he knew that he had done something really bad. The true test lay ahead. Jeremy knew he would be living a lie from now on.

The paramedics took Ralph’s body away. They knew he was dead. There was no hope. Ralph had no chance of being saved. The injuries were severe. His face was torn apart. His skull shattered to pieces. The news teams reach the accident scene and start reporting on how a young 15 year old boy lost his life in a tragic accident. They were not allowed to speak to Jeremy. He just sat there at the accident scene, more like a crime scene to him. He felt the pain of losing his best friend.

—

10 years pass by.

—

Sarah runs her hand through Jeremy’s hair. The two of them sit in the balcony watching the drizzle. Happily married for the past two years, the two of them knew each other as they knew themselves. Or that’s what Sarah might have thought. Her husband was the most loving man she had ever met. He treated her with so much respect, more than she could ever ask for.

Jeremy held Sarah’s hand and said, “I have something to tell you.”

Sarah did not know what to expect. She just smiled and replied, “Go on honey, you know you can tell me anything you want.”
“You remember Ralph, my childhood friend. It’s exactly 10 year since he died. Everyone knows that he died in an accident. But, what I know, no one else does.”
“What do you know?”
“But, before I tell you that, promise me that you will never judge me as a person.”
“You know I would never do that.”
“Then I shall let you know. I haven’t told anyone about this but I’m only letting you know, because I love you so much and I can’t live a lie and keep this secret from you.”

Jeremy tells her what exactly happened that evening. Every minute detail. He could remember it as though it happened a day back. The pain and guilt he had to live with from that day on, was all stored inside him. He was glad he had finally told someone. Someone he loved. Someone who he knew would understand him best.